It’s official I only trust the love of cats

We were on the couch watching tv, I think it was some kind of entertainment awards show.

I wasn’t paying too much attention, I think I was drawing. Until somebody said something that sounded, or felt, like putting out a cigarette on the skin of a baby.

One of the men, I think it was one of the actors — wealthy, famous, older, with a golden permanent tan, a bit weathered — typical – was asked a question about his life challenges or something. He joked,

“Try keeping a marriage together when 22 is still on the table.”

I looked up and saw his bright white grin flash as the audience laughed. My lover snickered too. It’s so easy to turn a deaf ear to statements like these on the market value of women.

Months later, I’ve forgotten the program and the people on it. But their laughter sticks with me, and my lover’s chuckle, and that man’s totally oblivious, carefree smile.



I’m diving right in

with little to no explanation. 

I’ve been out there, pouring my heart out to strangers and feeling like a freak but also just feeling like i’m right. 

I’m not oging to get organizded in this blog, I’m not gooing to be organized, stay organized when I get there, I’m just going to blurt this shit out out. 

As it comes. 

It’s going to be unprofessional, messy, maybe even

ugly.  At times.  Unlike other recent writings, the poetry and the essays and the stories, this is not for editing.  This is not for getting it right. 

This is not for making it look good.